Unsigned Books

The Dialogue Series

“It’s awfully rude to stare.” 

“Yes, honey. I know. It’s just what they do.” 

“I feel judged.” 

“What do you mean, hon?” 

“The way they are staring. Don’t you see that judgemental stare in their eyes? Look at them!” 

“I don’t know about that. Seems like a perfectly normal gaze to me. Nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe they are a bit cross-… ” 

“They are looking down on us, you know.” 

“I don’t think … ” 

“Not on you. On us.” 

“Am I not part of ‘us’?” 

“Women! Us women. At least women like me. Why do you always have to make it about you?” 

“I’m sorry, I thought … ” 

“Don’t think. It’s not good for your health. Can’t they stop staring? I can’t think straight feeling their eyes poking into me like a hundred million daggers.” 

“That many, huh. I only count … ” 

“Yes, that many. Look at their perfect little bodies, their perfect oval faces, their perfectly fitting clothes. They’re judging me and telling me I am beneath them.” 

“If you say so, hon. If you’d ask me, they are … ” 

“Yes, but nobody is asking you, so shut up. You men know nothing about these things. We! We know about these things. Ask us about this. Do you ever ask me? No, because you only think about yourself.” 

“How exactly are they judging you, hon?” 

“Can’t you see!? They are telling me I am not good enough. They are telling me to be more like them and less like me. How much money do you have?” 

“I like you just the … ” 

“You don’t have to lie, you know. Look at them and tell me you are not attracted to them.” 

“Honestly, hon, I am not … ” 

“Liar. You are exactly like every other man on this godforsaken earth.” 

“And you gather all of this from the looks in their eyes?” 

“Men know nothing about body language. Do you?” 

“Aren’t you a little … ” 

“Do not say ‘overreacting’. Do not say it. I am not overreacting, and I bet that if you were to ask any other girl here, they’d tell you the same thing.” 

“I wasn’t going … ” 

“Here, let’s ask her. She looks a bit like me. Go on then.” 

“Let’s not cause a scene, hon.”  

“I am not causing a scene. You are just saying that because you know I am right. Admit it.” 

“You are right, hon. Now can we … ” 

“One more thing. Do you think I am too fat?” 

“I …” 

“You think I’m too fat!?” 

“I didn’t say that. You didn’t … ” 

“A simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ would have sufficed, you know. You even had to think about your answer.” 

“No, you aren’t too fat.” 

“Oh, so I’m just fat. Is that it? You really do want me to be more like them. Fine.” 

“Hon, I thought we were just here to buy a new dress.” 

“Yes, but then you had to get into an argument, make it all about you and to top it off you call me fat. Whose side are you on anyway?” 

“Side? How can I … ” 

“It’s perfectly clear you are on their side. So go then. See if they can make you happy.” 

“Why would I want to? Do you want the dress or not?” 

“So you can see how fat I look in it?” 

 “No, you said … ” 

“I know what I said. You don’t have to remind me, you know. I am not stupid. Or do you think I’m stupid, too?” 

“That is not … ” 

“So, I am a stupid cow now, aren’t I. Is that what you are saying?” 

“Shall we just go home and discuss this there?” 

“You don’t want to be seen with me in public? Is that it?” 

“No, I just think it would be best to sit down and discuss this over a cup of tea.” 

“Fine. Let’s go home. I have had it with their dirty looks anyway. And you would just think I am a big, fat, stupid cow in that dress.” 

“They are just mannequins, hon. I am sure they … ” 

“They are not just mannequins, but you wouldn’t know, would you? You are a man. You don’t see how they make women like me feel and how you make me feel looking at them and then at me. Judging me like they are. I can tell by the squint in your eyes.” 

“Well, shall we not go to the lingerie department then?” 

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Drooling all over those stockings on those pretty things. All men are pigs. You are a pig. Sex, sex, sex, that is all you think about.” 

“Not with a … ” 

“Not with a fat cow like me.” 

“No, you’re right. Not with a fat cow like you. Shall we go now?” 

“No, I am going to buy that dress. I told you that. Aren’t you listening to any word I am saying? Ugh, men!” 

“I guess I wasn’t. Well, do you want anything else?” 

“Yes, tell me I’m pretty. I think I have deserved as much.” 

“You are pretty, hon.” 

“Liar.”