Unsigned Books

The Life Series

“What are we dealing with here, Marcus?” 

“It is life, Jimbo, but definitely not as we know it.” 

“So, what can you say about it?” 

“The reproductive organs seem to be intact, and I reckon we are dealing with a male subject here. Underneath this flap of meat, we found a rather small, yet functional and fully developed penis. This, of course, is an adult specimen. Our colleagues a couple of rooms down the corridor are working on a much younger item. From what I have heard the size of that one is laughable and incapable of producing what these beings needed to reproduce.” 

“Highly interesting. Do we have any female specimens, too?” 

“So far, these are the only two we were given to work with. It is a start. Hopefully, we will be sent a female version soon. That would answer a lot of questions we have. Here. Look at this. To me, these look like fully developed vocal cords. What do you reckon?” 

“By Jove, Marcus, you might be right. Were these beings capable of speech?”  

“It would appear that way, Jimbo. Though, I do not expect them to have been as intelligent as we are. See, up here. The size of the brain and the head implicate that they could never have been very smart.” 

“So, what you are saying?” 

“If they were capable of speech, it must not have been more than just reproducing same elementary sounds. They just copied what they heard. Their vocabulary must have been pretty limited.” 

“Does this not contradict the information we already had? We found some of their dwellings, didn’t we? I thought those indicated we were dealing with a rather intelligent life form.” 

“My guess is, Jimbo, and I am going out on a limb here, that maybe they were more intelligent once. Further investigation might support my theories. On the other hand, maybe it was just the males that were stupid, and the females were the more intelligent ones.” 

“I can’t wait to get my hands on a female specimen. Marvellous bits, though. So small, yet so effective. How did they work?” 

“Well, let’s have a look. See this, James. It looks like their reproductive fluids came from here and left the body through this tube. If I am not mistaken, it must then have been put inside the female reproductive organs to create offspring. Whether or not it grew inside the body remains to be seen.” 

“Incredible. So primitive. So vulgar.” 

“I am not sure whether this information should be shared with our people. They might be shocked. Appalled even.” 

“They must have reproduced at an incredible speed, right?” 

“I would almost say that these species reproduced at the rate of bacteria. Spreading like a disease. They could not have survived otherwise for they must have been pretty unintelligent judging by the size and capacity of their brains.” 

“Were they self-conscious beings, Marcus?” 

“They must have been at some point. I dissected the brains and studied them for quite some time. What I gather is that their brains must have diminished in size over time. There was enough room in the head for more. They just sort of shrivelled away. Parts that they stopped using must have shrunk and then the thing called evolution took care of the rest. In the end they must not have been more than just self-replicating DNA.” 

“Is that what caused their demise?” 

“Yes, in the end there was nothing more left than boundless human stupidity.” 

“Such a shame, though, don’t you think?” 

“I think, Jimbo, it was for the best. Earth, the planet they inhabited, seems to be so much better off without them. Look at how thriving and rich it is now. Nature took back what they had once stolen, and it is a much healthier planet now than it ever was.” 

“I guess you’re right. Well, let’s call it a day. I have seen enough. Cover it up and let’s file in the reports. Maybe our world will one day be ready for this reproductive story. Until then, let’s be thankful we are nothing like them. The mere thought, going extinct out of stupidity. Unthinkable.”