Unsigned Books

The Dialogue Series

She had just started renting a house for the first time. When you have finally moved into your own apartment, you come to realise you still need to buy a couple of things. In her case it was a CoffeeMaker. It was not at the top of her list, but waking up each morning without a nice cuppa joe was bad for her and her environment. She was standing in the shop in front of shelves stacked with a wide variety of choices. How hard could it be to buy one of those things?  

“Good day, miss. I see you are looking at the CoffeeMaker200. Can I give you a piece of advice?” 

“Sorry, the what? I have no idea. But I would love to hear your adivce.” 

“The CoffeeMaker200 is a nice piece of equipment, but it is very limited and, to be honest, it is rather old-fashioned already. For just a little bit more of your money, you can get yourself the CoffeeMakerPro. This way you are sure of a really nice cup of coffee every single day, and it will last you at least another two years before they stop producing it.” 

“Here I was, thinking it would be easy, but obviously I know very little about these things. The CoffeeMakerPro, right? How expensive is it?” 

“The standard package is only 499.99. Be honest, impossible to resist.” 

“But the CoffeeMaker200 is only 299.99.” 

“You are absolutely right. That one is going to be taken out of production soon and then where will you be? If something breaks or malfunctions you will be up shit creek. That’s where you will be.” 

“Well, if you put it like that. I’ll take the Pro.” 

“What kind of charger do you have?” 

“Charger?” 

“Yes, a charger. You do need one. Otherwise, you will be unable to make coffee within two days because the batteries are dead.” 

Ah, I didn’t know that. You see, I do not own a CoffeeMaker, yet. My parents always had one of those …” 

“Nobody has those anymore. I know exactly what you mean, but they the only place you will find those is at the museum. Cheap junk. You will be the laughingstock amongst your friends.” 

“Okay. So, do you have one with a charger?” 

“Of course, we do. We will have to move down the aisle to the PlusPackages. See. They’re over here. The CoffeeMakerPro with a charger is 599,99. Still a bargain, naturally.” 

“If you say so. I’ll take that one then. I do need to be able to make some coffee.” 

“Just one more question, just to be on the safe side. Which power cord do you have at home?” 

“Power cord, you say? I am assuming that it is included.” 

“They used to be included. But we are living in a modern-day world. The charger needs to be supplied with electricity. You see? And if the cord breaks, you won’t have to replace the entire machine anymore. That saves an awful lot of money. Good for the environment, too.” 

“I don’t think I own …” 

“Well, we will just have to include one, won’t we. The Gold edition then. Still really affordable. Only 649.99.” 

“You know, that is a really big difference compared to the standard package. And you are sure I need all of that?” 

“The problem is, miss, that this is your first CoffeeMaker. You do need to buy all of these things and maybe even more. If, for example, you are going to buy beans instead of cheap grounded coffee, you will need a grinder. Some people also want a milk frother, that is extra. Filters, frothing jugs, coffee cans, water filters, maintenance supplies, and so on. But you can come back for those things later. If you just want your regular cup of coffee, then this will be sufficient.” 

“Just a cup of coffee, you say? That’s all?” 

“Well, it all hinges on what subscription you’d like.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“That’s our next step. When you have decided to buy the CoffeeMakerGold, we will have a look at the subscription you would like.” 

“A subscription for a CoffeeMaker?” 

“Naturally, you will need a subscription if you want to use the software on this machine. For just 4.99 a month you will be able to make a decent cup of coffee every single day.” 

 “Just one cup of coffee, right?” 

“Yes. Of course, the CoffeeMakerPro is able to produce espresso or cappuccino as well, but you will need a different subscrition for that.” 

“So, how much are we talking about here?” 

“Three different kinds of coffee? That amounts to 14.99 a month. That will get you 10 cups of coffee to your liking. You will need to sign up, we need to start you up and there is a small membership fee. But you only have to pay for all that once.” 

“How much is that?” 

“Let’s see. I am going to check that for you. Sign up. Yes. Start you up. Yes. Membership. Yes. Would you like an insurance as well?” 

“Go on. Be a devil.” 

“Insurance. Yes. So, that will be 114.99. Oh no, wait. You are getting the Gold edition. So, that will be 139.99. Plus a subscription, three months in advance. That amounts to 184.96. Sounds like a good deal to me, don’t you think?” 

“I think I will start drinking tea instead. Where are the water cookers?” 

“Ah, well. The standard packages are on the bottom shelves in aisle 3.” 

The End.